Giving to get

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How do you convince people to like you and give you a break?Here’s a core principle of human behavior, so simple: When people receive something they value, they’re more inclined to give back in return. Pretty obvious, right? But it’s absolutely true, and is one of the reasons why those charities send you small gifts in the mail. They’re hoping you’ll find some value in them, and give back in return.

But suppose you’re the one trying to sell something: You have a great idea, you want a job, or you want to have influence over other people. You can use the above principle in several ways:

People need to know what you have to offer. A great way to do this is to show it in action, not just tell people about it. Do you know how to do something interesting or valuable? Show them. Do you have a product you’re trying to sell? Show it doing something useful and interesting. Trying to sell an idea? Show a mock-up, an analogy, or how the idea has already worked in other situations.

People need a reason to prefer you over the competition. You’ll be thought of as more valuable if you’ve already demonstrated an inclination to give value. Are you after a particular job? Look for ways to help the employer solve real problems, whether by volunteering or even what value you give during the interview.

Let’s say you’re trying to have influence over a decision. If you have demonstrated an ability to understand the bigger picture – that of the decision-maker – you’ll have more credibility. If people in power have seen you exercise skill and expertise, they’ll be more likely to listen to what you have to say.

Here’s the bottom line: Don’t be stingy with your skill, knowledge, time, and resources. When people see you giving freely, they’ll be inclined to help you in return.

But remember: What you give has to have value in the recipient’s eyes. Otherwise, it’s just a useless trinket.

An important resource

As you might know, I am a career coach and have been doing a lot of work with people who are looking to change or reinvigorate their careers. If you’re interested, please call me at +1 970 225 6889 (US Mountain time, GMT-7) or send me an e-mail. I’d love to help you work through your challenges by showing you some different perspectives. I believe every person has the opportunity to excel in life, even though it may not be clear to you right now!
Carl Dierschow is a Certified Leadership Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with leaders who are creating amazing teams. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.PossibilitiesPartnership.com.If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

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