We’re constantly going through cycles in our jobs, in our careers, and in our lives. And if you’re out hunting for a job, it’s tough to keep your energy up to do the draining work every day.
Be sure to give yourself a break. Just as your body needs its rest every night, your mental stamina will also go through normal ups and downs.
But there’s also some tricks and techniques to regenerating your energy when you need to. Try some of these out to see what works for you.
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Giving to get
How do you convince people to like you and give you a break?
Here’s a core principle of human behavior, so simple: When people receive something they value, they’re more inclined to give back in return. Pretty obvious, right? But it’s absolutely true, and is one of the reasons why those charities send you small gifts in the mail. They’re hoping you’ll find some value in them, and give back in return.
But suppose you’re the one trying to sell something: You have a great idea, you want a job, or you want to have influence over other people. You can use the above principle in several ways:
People need to know what you have to offer. A great way to do this is to show it in action, not just tell people about it. Do you know how to do something interesting or valuable? Show them. Do you have a product you’re trying to sell? Show it doing something useful and interesting. Trying to sell an idea? Show a mock-up, an analogy, or how the idea has already worked in other situations.
People need a reason to prefer you over the competition. You’ll be thought of as more valuable if you’ve already demonstrated an inclination to give value. Are you after a particular job? Look for ways to help the employer solve real problems, whether by volunteering or even what value you give during the interview.
Let’s say you’re trying to have influence over a decision. If you have demonstrated an ability to understand the bigger picture – that of the decision-maker – you’ll have more credibility. If people in power have seen you exercise skill and expertise, they’ll be more likely to listen to what you have to say.
Here’s the bottom line: Don’t be stingy with your skill, knowledge, time, and resources. When people see you giving freely, they’ll be inclined to help you in return.
But remember: What you give has to have value in the recipient’s eyes. Otherwise, it’s just a useless trinket.
An important resource
As you might know, I am a career coach and have been doing a lot of work with people who are looking to change or reinvigorate their careers. If you’re interested, please call me at +1 970 225 6889 (US Mountain time, GMT-7) or send me an e-mail. I’d love to help you work through your challenges by showing you some different perspectives. I believe every person has the opportunity to excel in life, even though it may not be clear to you right now!
Carl Dierschow is a Certified Leadership Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with leaders who are creating amazing teams. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.PossibilitiesPartnership.com.
If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.
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I’ve been fortunate to have a few wonderful bosses over the course of my career. Not just decent, not just good, but truly exceptional people. I’ve also been fortunate that the number of truly terrible managers has been very low.
The truly exceptional ones have treated me with honesty and respect, supported me in tough times, cared about me as a unique individual, and given me challenging and valuable work.
Life’s stressful. So much work to do, so much to worry about. If you have a job, you’re stressed about losing it. If you don’t have a job, things seem so hopeless.
The fabric of society is falling apart. Politics bring important decisions to a standstill. Global climate change. Terrorism.
I’ve been involved with a fair number of volunteer organizations during my lifetime, and I’ve always been amazed at how much people are willing to give. On the face of it, this isn’t quite rational – why would you do something that costs you a lot of time, money and work, when you aren’t getting anything specific in return?
Peter Bregman, in the Harvard Business Review, wrote an interesting article this week about what motivates people to help. If you haven’t seen it yet, follow that link and have a look. Peter raises an interesting question about why people are motivated to give to others, to help.
In general, people like to be helpful. I suppose part of it is an expectation of getting something in return, but that’s not the core.
The fact is, you get a rush just from knowing you’ve done good. It actually physically feels good to you, and in many cases that may be enough reward in itself.
Of course, we get rather cynical about all this. Many charitable organizations prey on our need to be loved and to feel like we’re making a difference. After a while we get the sense that maybe we’re not actually making the difference that we’d hoped, and that some of the unscrupulous types might be taking advantage of us.
That’s why Peter’s example is so powerful. It’s about making a difference to someone here and now, in a way that makes a difference that you can actually see.
Here’s what we learn about giving:
Let people see the difference they’re making, in as immediate a way as possible, and in the way that person values.
Entering payment into the equation introduces a whole different dynamic – it becomes about the money rather than about the value delivered.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People like helping.
How do you convince people to like you and give you a break?
Here’s a core principle of human behavior, so simple: When people receive something they value, they’re more inclined to give back in return. Pretty obvious, right? But it’s absolutely true, and is one of the reasons why those charities send you small gifts in the mail. They’re hoping you’ll find some value in them, and give back in return.
I had a very interesting discussion with my son today, and along the twisting path, I made this observation: People either help others because they expect something back, or … because there’s a larger picture at play. Let me explain.
What an absolutely great bunch of guys to work with. Since September we’ve been chanting for one Mass a month, and yesterday’s Mass was the last before heading off to a well-deserved summer break. And more important, to the Sacred Music Colloquium in Chicago next week.
How do you convince people to like you and give you a break?
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