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Here’s the brutal truth: That’s not the way the universe works. You don’t get to “fix” them.

Read more of my post at WorkBloom.com>>

I’ve started posting over there as a way to increase the reach of the value I can bring to people who are struggling with career issues.

The idea was first captured in 1937 in the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.  It’s a small group of people meeting regularly to:

• Support each other
• Challenge each other
• Bring new ideas forward to help each other

Being interested in the concept, I decided to form a group last year which would help me move through the transition from being employed, to looking for a job, to creating my company.  Four of us meet every 3-4 weeks via telephone for 90 minutes, and each of us talks about the progress we’ve made, the actions we’d like to take, and what support would be helpful from the others.  So far, the results are that each of us has valued the support of the group, and achieved important goals.  The only cost is our time, as we’re using a teleconference line graciously supplied by one of our members.

Here are the critical factors for a successful group:

• Small enough so that you can get to know each other personally, but large enough to have some diversity of thinking – I decided 4-6 people was the right size for us.
• Some elements of commonality of background to help quickly form relationships – Our group is formed from people who used to promote coaching at my former employer.
• Some elements of diversity so you get richer depth and breadth of ideas – Our group is two men and two women, physically located around the western US, each looking to take different steps in our lives.
• Being focused on helping each other get useful results.

Some groups will pay someone who facilitates the conversations and logistics, but given the backgrounds of the four of us we were able to do without.  And on the whole, we’ve found this to be quite useful!

If you’re interested in the concept, simply Google “MasterMind Group”; there’s plenty of resources out there.  Maybe this will be a valuable asset at an important point in your career where you’re looking for fresh ideas and personal support!

One of the nice things about getting sick – if you permit me to say something might be “nice” here – is that it gave me a great excuse to let things slide a little bit.  I had a great reason to blow off some the less important meetings and to reset expectations.  After all, everyone has first-hand experience with being ill.

Here’s the lesson to be learned:  Breaks are necessary for rejuvenation and rebuilding.  I know that life seems extremely complex and stressful at the moment, with no end in sight.  It feels as if there’s no room at all to let up, to get some rest, to take a break.

That’s a mirage.  If you’re in this life for the long term, you need to make your decisions around having the best overall life, long term.

That’s one of the great things about having a holiday season every year, whatever you might celebrate.  Many use the time as an opportunity to take a break from the intensity of work, and reconnect with family and other priorities.  The result is often a new focus and energy for the coming year.

When I coach, it’s not uncommon for me to give the client my “permission” to push concerns aside for a moment.  The word is used partially for its shock value, because it’s rather strange phrase to use when I have no particular authority to give permission for anything.  But this also helps the client to realize that taking a break is under his or her control, a conscious choice.  That creates a new sense of freedom, the possibility to move into a fresh way of thinking.

Here’s my gift to you today, even though I have no authority to do this:  I give you permission to take a short break.  Or better yet, just recognize that you’re already taking a break by spending a few moments reading this.

What are you going to do with the rest of this break?  Perhaps have a little fun, build a little energy?

Constraints include:

• The opportunities you’ve been given in recent jobs
• Your education, skills, and strengths
• The people and companies who would hire you today
• Scarcity of job openings
• The obligations you have to your family and others, especially financial
• Your current level of savings, that cushion against unexpected events

If you’re looking for a job that looks just like what you’ve been doing, these kinds of restrictions can drive you crazy.  What do you do if nobody is hiring that kind of position?

Here’s the interesting part:  You’re just a hair’s-breadth away from a dizzying number of options.  OK, so nobody is hiring for the job that I was doing a few months ago.  So what do I do?

• Different advice is bombarding me from every direction
• I could potentially do lots of things, especially with a little education
• I know quite a few people, who I suppose could help me in some way

It all comes down to making some choices so that I can make progress.  I can’t explore 100 possible career paths simultaneously, or I won’t make any progress at all.

Here’s how to make progress:  Make some choices based upon what you know now, imperfect as that is.  Investigate, think, explore, and make a little progress.  Decide whether this has been useful.  Then repeat the cycle during your entire career.

Really?  Really? Yes.  Things are going to change so much during your lifetime that you have to get comfortable with this cycle of learning and adaptation.

There’s just no other way.

In general, people like to be helpful.  I suppose part of it is an expectation of getting something in return, but that’s not the core.

The fact is, you get a rush just from knowing you’ve done good.  It actually physically feels good to you, and in many cases that may be enough reward in itself.

Of course, we get rather cynical about all this.  Many charitable organizations prey on our need to be loved and to feel like we’re making a difference.  After a while we get the sense that maybe we’re not actually making the difference that we’d hoped, and that some of the unscrupulous types might be taking advantage of us.

That’s why Peter’s example is so powerful.  It’s about making a difference to someone here and now, in a way that makes a difference that you can actually see.

Here’s what we learn about giving:

• Let people see the difference they’re making, in as immediate a way as possible, and in the way that person values.
• Entering payment into the equation introduces a whole different dynamic – it becomes about the money rather than about the value delivered.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  People like helping.

As I said before, the act of giving has great value.  Remember that in your own life, and those of people who you work with.

Here’s a core principle of human behavior, so simple:  When people receive something they value, they’re more inclined to give back in return.  Pretty obvious, right?  But it’s absolutely true, and is one of the reasons why those charities send you small gifts in the mail.  They’re hoping you’ll find some value in them, and give back in return.

But suppose you’re the one trying to sell something:  You have a great idea, you want a job, or you want to have influence over other people.  You can use the above principle in several ways:

People need to know what you have to offer.  A great way to do this is to show it in action, not just tell people about it.  Do you know how to do something interesting or valuable?  Show them.  Do you have a product you’re trying to sell?  Show it doing something useful and interesting.  Trying to sell an idea?  Show a mock-up, an analogy, or how the idea has already worked in other situations.

People need a reason to prefer you over the competition.  You’ll be thought of as more valuable if you’ve already demonstrated an inclination to give value.  Are you after a particular job?  Look for ways to help the employer solve real problems, whether by volunteering or even what value you give during the interview.

Let’s say you’re trying to have influence over a decision.  If you have demonstrated an ability to understand the bigger picture – that of the decision-maker – you’ll have more credibility.  If people in power have seen you exercise skill and expertise, they’ll be more likely to listen to what you have to say.

Here’s the bottom line:  Don’t be stingy with your skill, knowledge, time, and resources.  When people see you giving freely, they’ll be inclined to help you in return.

But remember:  What you give has to have value in the recipient’s eyes.  Otherwise, it’s just a useless trinket.

As the economy rebounds, companies will be reluctant to hire full-time employees.  Fairly obvious, right?  But this has broad implications.

First, why would this statement be true?

• Companies have recent painful memories of how hard it is to shed permanent employees.
• They will be unsure about the magnitude and longevity of the rebound.  Is it for real this time?  What happens if it’s slower than currently projected?
• Full-time employees come with the expectation of stability in job assignment.  There’s more flexibility with hiring contractors to address short-term pain points.

There’s some very interesting implications from this statement for anyone who’s in the job market:

• Be open to the possibility of part-time and/or contract work, possibly for the rest of your career.
• Tap the available resources to learn how to manage yourself as an independent contract business.  Fortunately, there’s plenty available.
• Market yourself as an excellent contract worker – this may well place you ahead of others who are only looking for full-time positions.  Change your résumé/CV, put up a website, and start describing yourself as a business.
• Start tracking what’s going on in your market – what’s happening with strategic moves at various possible employers, where pain points are emerging, and map that to short-term projects that you could engage with.

It’s tough to find a job right now, so anything you can do to increase your odds will be time well spent!

It’s scary, but it’s so wonderful to be doing what feels to be such useful activity.

It’s interesting how this switch happened inside my head.  Before Christmas, I had all kinds of great excuses for not making the leap:

• “I’m still investing in my professional development.”
• “My plans aren’t clear yet.”
• “People are going to be off on vacation.”

All true, of course, but I knew that the fundamental issue was that they were stalling techniques to give myself an “out” for not moving to action.

What changed since New Year’s is that I decided to announce to my supporters and coaches (so wonderful to be able to call upon several!) that I wanted to work on switching from planning into action.  After each conversation, I came away with some concrete actions to take - that I was motivated to work on.  That last part is key, because it’s what helps me to get over my fears and inertia.

This is part of the magic of coaching – that the client creates and owns the action items, it’s not about the coach giving the client things to do.  Therefore, the client is motivated to follow through, and the coach can help close the loop of accountability and celebration.

I might also mention that I had my first evaluation as a coach this week – an expert listened in while I coached a colleague for half an hour, then gave a verbal and written evaluation of what I had done.

Boy, that was scary.

But in the end, my fears were much larger than the reality.  I got some wonderful and supportive feedback, and had the chance to really jump in and coach at my absolute best.  I’m much less scared about the second evaluation in a couple of weeks.

Are you scared to jump in and actually do what you know you need to do?  Have courage, my friend!