Relationships in a virtual world

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It’s tough to develop solid working relationships with people that you’ve never met.  When knowledge-based work is done with co-workers around the world, you can start to become isolated and disconnected.If you already have developed a personal relationship with someone, then e-mail, telephone, and Skype are wonderful tools for keeping in touch over a long distance.  It’s much tougher when you’re expected to work closely with someone that you only know as a distant voice or e-mail string.

Here’s some ideas you might want to work on:

  • If you’re going to work with someone on an ongoing basis, take the time to invest in understanding where they’re coming from:  Their background, their work situation, maybe even some of their personal circumstances.  It’s FAR easier to do this on a voice call than in e-mail.  Remember to share the same things about YOUR life – relationships are two-way!
  • You might be surprised to see how important it is to have a video chat, or even get a photo, of your co-worker.  I’ve found that this helps you to quickly relate to the other person as a unique individual.  You’ll soften your tone and listen better to what they have to say.
  • Listening deeply over the telephone is not an easy skill.  Take time to discuss your assumptions, interpretations and reactions with the other person.  Because you’re not sharing body language, it’s easy to make mistakes which can seriously derail getting your work done.
  • Because few of us are skilled writers, it’s extremely common to misunderstand people through e-mail.  That’s exacerbated by the fact that we seem to just skim others’ writing, not really trying to understand fully.  So take a little extra time when reading important messages, and never try to discuss emotion-charged topics in that medium.

The bottom line:  When you’re working with someone over a period of weeks and months, invest a little extra in forming the relationship that comes from a deeper sensitivity to each other’s situation.  It’s not just about getting the work done.

An important resource

I was looking over a great book the other day, John P. Kotter on What Leaders Really Do.  I read this a few years ago, and was struck by how relevant to leaders in all situations.  To give you an idea, here’s the table of contents:

  1. Leadership at the Turn of the Century
  2. Choosing Strategies for Change
  3. What Leaders Really Do
  4. Leading Change: Why Transformation Efforts Fail
  5. Power, Dependence, and Effective Management
  6. Managing Your Boss
  7. What Effective General Managers Really Do

If you’re charged with leadership in a formal or informal capacity, or looking to expand your skills in that direction, this book would be a great investment.  It’s short and straightforward.
Carl Dierschow is a Certified Small Fish Business Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with small business owners who need to create breakthroughs in achieving their business goals. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.SmallFish.us.

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

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© 2010 Possibilities Partnership LLC

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