I have several blogs, as you may have discovered. On a regular basis, I get emails from other blog sites which say something like:
Now, I really like helping out other people, so on occasion I’ve obliged. But after having received dozens of nearly identical requests, I’ve stopped participating. I feel a bit of a curmudgeon for doing that, but this is what’s been concerning me:
The first two are logical, the third is an emotional reaction. But social interactions – people helping people in communities of shared interest – are built primarily on emotional attachments.
What do we learn from all this? That your work in building networks, increasing your influence, and knowing the right people, is built on both emotional and logical connections.
Don’t downplay the emotional.
When you give freely to others, when you show gratitude, when you put yourself at service, you create emotional bonds that are incredibly resilient and memorable.
You can carry this into manipulation, of course. In that e-mail above, the person said they appreciated my blog. That felt great – it stroked my ego – the first couple of times, but I’ve discovered that it’s inauthentic. What’s different from REAL appreciation is that this person said nothing specific, either about what I’d done or the value they received.
It’s easy to say “I appreciate what you do.” It’s much harder, and has much more impact, to explain WHY.
The same goes for social media. Most comments I see aren’t conversations, they’re just throwaways which are generated by people who have too much time and easy access to technology. This is exactly how Twitter has gotten such a bad image to the non-Twitterverse.
In my case, I don’t spend much time on social media networks. When I do, I’m looking for substantial conversations where people are helping each other.
Other than that, I’m looking to help people In Real Life. For real.
|Carl Dierschow is a Certified Small Fish Business Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with small business owners who need to create breakthroughs in achieving their business goals. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.SmallFish.us.
If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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