We hear these complaints all the time, and we know how it affects us to hear them. We might join the complaint train, we might feel sadness and empathy, or we might even try to argue.

But let’s think for a minute about what it means to the person who SAYS these things.

When I say these negative statements, it takes an idea or feeling that might have been vague, and makes it more concrete. If I am dissatisfied with my job but then declare to someone that I “hate” it, I’ve now created in my own mind the image that is attached to a very strong, powerful emotion.

It then becomes easier to tell more people that I “hate” my job, because I’ve actually started adjusting my internal compass around this concept. Now I more deeply believe what I’ve said, and it becomes harder to change my mind.

Suppose my boss actually does something good for me. If I’ve declared to myself and others that I “hate” my job, I would have a lot of work to convince myself that it actually can be good. It’s inconsistent with my internal view, so I’m just likely to reject this new information, or dismiss it with cynicism.

After I’ve declared to myself and others that I “hate” my job, I’m going to eventually have to do something about it. After all, others will view me as a fool if I stay in a job I hate. So now I’ve created a bunch of tension inside myself because of this inconsistency – especially if I feel trapped in the job.

What am I proposing? That you go around declaring that you’re happy and satisfied, even when you don’t believe it?

That can work sometimes. In fact, if you’re constantly looking for what’s good in your life, you’re more likely to find it. And every time you tell someone else about something good, you’ve given them – and yourself – some positive reinforcement which generates energy.

But it’s not always possible. There’s lots of things to worry about, many ways that things are going wrong. Ignoring the reality creates its own kind of internal tension and even leads you to hiding from the world.

In that case, talk and think positively about what you’re DOING about problems. Get others inspired to make a difference along with you.

Not only will you make a difference in the world, but it will change the way you think about your life.

Wonderful resource

In this first newsletter, I’ll recommend the top professional resource that I suggest to all my clients: LinkedIn. This is the top internet place where people describe who they are, what they’re looking for, and connect up with people who have a similar interest.

If you haven’t created an account there, by all means start checking it out immediately. It’s free, and one of the best ways to network with people who might be able to give you your next job.

I tend to like LinkedIn more than Facebook or Myspace, because it’s focused on your profession rather than just social connections. People tend to carry on more civilized discussions, create job-oriented groups, and not be distracted by games and advertisements.

If you have a LinkedIn page, congratulations! Now is the time to go back and look at the profile you’re displaying to the world, and to look up some colleagues who have fallen out of touch.

You never know where your next job opportunity might come from. Connect!

Carl Dierschow is a certified Organizational Leadership Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with leaders who are creating amazing teams. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.PossibilitiesPartnership.com.If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

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