{"id":950,"date":"2010-11-01T09:04:13","date_gmt":"2010-11-01T16:04:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/?p=950"},"modified":"2012-06-01T15:04:58","modified_gmt":"2012-06-01T22:04:58","slug":"relationships-in-a-virtual-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/newsletter\/relationships-in-a-virtual-world","title":{"rendered":"Relationships in a virtual world"},"content":{"rendered":"<table cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"4\" align=\"center\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"2\">It&#8217;s tough to develop solid working relationships with people that you&#8217;ve never met.\u00a0 When knowledge-based work is done with co-workers around the world, you can start to become isolated and disconnected.<!--more-->If you already have developed a personal relationship with someone, then e-mail, telephone, and Skype are wonderful tools for keeping in touch over a long distance.\u00a0 It&#8217;s much tougher when you&#8217;re expected to work closely with someone that you only know as a distant voice or e-mail string.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s some ideas you might want to work on:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you&#8217;re going to work with someone on an ongoing basis, take the time to invest in understanding where they&#8217;re coming from:\u00a0 Their background, their work situation, maybe even some of their personal circumstances.\u00a0 It&#8217;s FAR easier to do this on a voice call than in e-mail.\u00a0 Remember to share the same things about YOUR life &#8211; relationships are two-way!<\/li>\n<li>You might be surprised to see how important it is to have a video chat, or even get a photo, of your co-worker.\u00a0 I&#8217;ve found that this helps you to quickly relate to the other person as a unique individual.\u00a0 You&#8217;ll soften your tone and listen better to what they have to say.<\/li>\n<li>Listening deeply over the telephone is not an easy skill.\u00a0 Take time to discuss your assumptions, interpretations and reactions with the other person.\u00a0 Because you&#8217;re not sharing body language, it&#8217;s easy to make mistakes which can seriously derail getting your work done.<\/li>\n<li>Because few of us are skilled writers, it&#8217;s extremely common to misunderstand people through e-mail.\u00a0 That&#8217;s exacerbated by the fact that we seem to just skim others&#8217; writing, not really trying to understand fully.\u00a0 So take a little extra time when reading important messages, and never try to discuss emotion-charged topics in that medium.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The bottom line:\u00a0 When you&#8217;re working with someone over a period of weeks and months, invest a little extra in forming the relationship that comes from a deeper sensitivity to each other&#8217;s situation.\u00a0 It&#8217;s not just about getting the work done.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"2\">\n<h2>An important resource<\/h2>\n<p>I was looking over a great book the other day, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Kotter-Leaders-Really-Harvard-Business\/dp\/0875848974\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1288626576&amp;sr=8-1\"> John P. Kotter on What Leaders Really Do<\/a>.\u00a0 I read this a few years ago, and was struck by how relevant to leaders in all situations.\u00a0 To give you an idea, here&#8217;s the table of contents:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Leadership at the Turn of the Century<\/li>\n<li>Choosing Strategies for Change<\/li>\n<li>What Leaders Really Do<\/li>\n<li>Leading Change: Why Transformation Efforts Fail<\/li>\n<li>Power, Dependence, and Effective Management<\/li>\n<li>Managing Your Boss<\/li>\n<li>What Effective General Managers Really Do<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>If you&#8217;re charged with leadership in a formal or informal capacity, or looking to expand your skills in that direction, this book would be a great investment.\u00a0 It&#8217;s short and straightforward.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"2\">Carl Dierschow is a Certified <a href=\"http:\/\/www.smallfish.us\/\" target=\"_blank\">Small Fish Business Coach<\/a> and author of the career management guide, <em>Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work<\/em>. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with small business owners who need to create breakthroughs in achieving their business goals. Find out more at <a href=\"..\/..\/\">www.Dierschow.com<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.smallfish.us\/\" target=\"_blank\">www.SmallFish.us<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at <a href=\"mailto:carl@dierschow.com\">carl@dierschow.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Connect with Carl on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/carl.dierschow\"> Facebook<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/dierschow\">LinkedIn<\/a> to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to <a href=\"mailto:newsletter@Dierschow.com?subject=Subscribe\/unsubscribe%20to%20career%20newsletter\"> newsletter@Dierschow.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00a9 2010 Possibilities Partnership LLC<\/td>\n<td><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"..\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/PP_logo_100x100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"100\" height=\"100\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s tough to develop solid working relationships with people that you&#8217;ve never met.\u00a0 When knowledge-based work is done with co-workers around the world, you can start to become isolated and <a href=\"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/newsletter\/relationships-in-a-virtual-world\" class=\"more-link\">[&hellip;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[15,41,26,18],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-carl","4":"has-more-link","5":"post-950","7":"format-standard","8":"category-newsletter","9":"post_tag-career-coaching","10":"post_tag-influence","11":"post_tag-leadership","12":"post_tag-relationships"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=950"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1403,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/950\/revisions\/1403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}