{"id":749,"date":"2010-05-31T12:39:03","date_gmt":"2010-05-31T19:39:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/?p=749"},"modified":"2012-06-01T15:13:37","modified_gmt":"2012-06-01T22:13:37","slug":"how-to-use-influence-to-your-advantage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/newsletter\/how-to-use-influence-to-your-advantage","title":{"rendered":"How to Use Influence to Your Advantage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n\n
\nI can think of a million ways to \u201cfix\u201d other people around me. They\u2019re just all so messed up, aren\u2019t they?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the brutal truth: That\u2019s not the way the universe works. You don\u2019t get to \u201cfix\u201d them.<\/p>\n

After I get over the disappointment from that statement, now what can I do? How do I keep myself from just being a victim of circumstances, a slave to my situation?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the secret: I have considerable influence<\/em> over the people in my life.<\/p>\n

Maybe that doesn\u2019t sound like a big deal, but it is. What it means is that if I want to make a difference in other peoples\u2019 behavior, I first have to take responsibility for my own. I have to work to influence others, which isn\u2019t a simple process.<\/p>\n

Influence isn\u2019t just a nice word for control<\/strong><\/p>\n

Influencing is actually a much different concept than controlling, because it\u2019s based on a cooperation of individuals, leading to a desire to change. With control, desire doesn\u2019t really enter into the picture.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say that I want to influence you to leave some kind words in the comment section of this blog, something which will let me know whether you\u2019re getting value from this page. I have absolutely no control over whether you do that, and in fact you may have left the page before the end of this sentence.<\/p>\n

What I can do, though, is to show you why it might be valuable to you to leave comments. I can\u2019t give you money or guarantee fame. So perhaps I can appeal to your vanity, giving you a place to see your name printed on a website. More powerful than that might be to explain how this creates a conversation where I can respond to what you say as you respond to my words.<\/p>\n

Perhaps even more interesting is how a conversation on a blog like this creates a community of people who can all be helping each other to learn about an interesting concept like exerting influence.<\/p>\n

Influencing others<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can see the thought process I was using there:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Be straightforward about what I\u2019m asking from you<\/li>\n
  • Explain or show how that can have value to you<\/li>\n
  • Giving you an easy way to say \u201cyes\u201d to the request, to remove obstacles<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Let\u2019s say that I\u2019d like to ask my boss for a change in job assignments. I have relatively little power in this situation, but certainly do have influence. So first I can be clear what I\u2019m asking for: \u201cI\u2019d like to talk with you about the possibilities of shifting my job responsibilities.\u201d Then I have some well-articulated ways to show value: \u201cIf we can do this, not only will I be more productive in my job, but also I\u2019ll become much more valuable to the organization in the long term.\u201d Finally, I remove obstacles: \u201cI would work with you on creating the set of responsibilities which are most valuable to the group and where I could make the best contributions, and I will work with you to phase this in over a period of 3 months so that the others on the team are impacted the least. I\u2019ll spend extra effort to cross-train people to take over my current job.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Depending on the situation, this may or may not work. Anything truly valuable in life isn\u2019t a sure thing. But what I\u2019ve done is opened up a conversation with my boss where I\u2019ve demonstrated professionalism, a desire to give benefit to her and the larger organization, and flexibility.<\/p>\n

    Thinking through the conversation is the first step to having influence.<\/p>\n

    As a footnote, I\u2019ll mention that I\u2019ve used this exact strategy three times in my career to create jobs which were customized to my own abilities and interests, making a deep difference to the larger organization. But each time, it took between 3 and 9 months to get through the process. It takes considerable focus and determination.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

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Wonderful resource<\/h2>\n

Here in northern Colorado, we have a wonderful organization<\/a> which is focused on serving the needs of people who are looking for new jobs.\u00a0 Especially during these tumultuous times, it’s more important than ever to have a group of people who can help you with difficult decisions.\u00a0 Check out what groups are in your area!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

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Carl Dierschow is a certified Organizational Leadership Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work<\/em>. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with leaders who are creating amazing teams. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com<\/a> and www.PossibilitiesPartnership.com<\/a>.If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Connect with Carl on Facebook<\/a> and LinkedIn<\/a> to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com<\/a>\u00a9 2010 Possibilities Partnership LLC<\/td>\n\"\"<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can think of a million ways to \u201cfix\u201d other people around me. They\u2019re just all so messed up, aren\u2019t they? Here\u2019s the brutal truth: That\u2019s not the way the […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[15,41,10,18],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-carl","4":"has-more-link","5":"post-749","7":"format-standard","8":"category-newsletter","9":"post_tag-career-coaching","10":"post_tag-influence","11":"post_tag-networking","12":"post_tag-relationships"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/749","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=749"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/749\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1412,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/749\/revisions\/1412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=749"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=749"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=749"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}