{"id":1319,"date":"2012-01-30T09:57:56","date_gmt":"2012-01-30T16:57:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/?p=1319"},"modified":"2012-03-12T13:48:22","modified_gmt":"2012-03-12T20:48:22","slug":"nurturing-optimism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/career\/nurturing-optimism","title":{"rendered":"Nurturing optimism"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n
\nI’d like to be optimistic, but it’s not that easy.\u00a0 The economy’s terrible, the election’s coming up this year, people are still losing their houses, …<\/p>\n

Here’s how I do it.<\/p>\n

You may have some friends or colleagues who are “toxic people.”\u00a0 You know the type: For every positive sign, they can recite five negative ones.\u00a0 They relish in the opportunity to point out the black cloud behind the silver lining.<\/p>\n

And, let’s face it, there’s a certain amount of perverse pleasure in complaining.\u00a0 It’s easy, and doesn’t carry the risk that you might actually have to DO something.<\/p>\n

But the end result, over time, is that you take on the attitude of a slave.\u00a0 Other people have the opportunity and right to do things, and all you can do is to respond.\u00a0 You’ve lost all your freedom.<\/p>\n

That’s no way to spend your life.<\/p>\n

So the first challenge is to limit the amount of time you spend with these toxic “friends.”\u00a0 If three minutes a day is all you can take, then listen for that time, don’t participate much, and walk away.\u00a0 Maybe they’ll learn and adjust over time, but it’s not your job to try to “fix” other people.<\/p>\n

Do the same with the media you consume.\u00a0 I had a podcast that I listened to faithfully for several years, and really enjoyed.\u00a0 But it was all about complaining and pointing out faults, not about coming up with useful solutions.\u00a0 I started noticing that after listening, I would become cynical for the rest of the day.<\/p>\n

Because I don’t want to be that kind of person, I had to give up the podcasts.\u00a0 Guess what?\u00a0 I’m more positive now.<\/p>\n

The third thing I do is to actively look for – and celebrate – positive signs.\u00a0 Last week my son had two high-value interviews, after having none for a year.\u00a0 Let’s consider that as a sign that his industry is turning up, and that he’s shifting his focus to get a little more serious about the job search.\u00a0 A year’s worth of new experience has helped as well!<\/p>\n

I’ve been getting a sense that there’s more optimism here in January 2012 than there was in January 2011.\u00a0 Measurable?\u00a0 Not really.\u00a0 But I’ve been doing my part to tell people that this has helped me to be more upbeat, in the hopes that I can spread it around a little more.\u00a0 It seems to be working, little by little.<\/p>\n

A couple of months ago, on one of my blogs<\/a>, I mentioned my little experiment with changing the standard hallway exchange:\u00a0 “How’s it going?” “Fine.”\u00a0 This actually means nothing in our culture, other than acknowledging the other person’s existence.\u00a0 It certainly doesn’t mean that I’m “fine”, it’s just the standard response.<\/p>\n

I changed my response to things like “wonderful!” or “excellent!” in order to see how people would react.\u00a0 And they noticed, yes, but more important, it changed my outlook on the day.\u00a0 I found that by telling someone I was having a wonderful time, that it actually increased the chances that the day would indeed be wonderful.\u00a0 Because I was working to make it that way.<\/p>\n

And don’t we all want wonderful days?<\/p>\n

 <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Carl Dierschow is a Certified Small Fish Business Coach<\/a> and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work<\/em>. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with small business owners who need to create breakthroughs in achieving their business goals. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com<\/a> and www.SmallFish.us<\/a>.If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Connect with Carl on Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a> and LinkedIn<\/a> to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com<\/a>\u00a9 2011 Possibilities Partnership LLC<\/td>\n\"\"<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’d like to be optimistic, but it’s not that easy.\u00a0 The economy’s terrible, the election’s coming up this year, people are still losing their houses, … Here’s how I do […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,42],"tags":[76,41,56,18],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-carl","4":"has-more-link","5":"post-1319","7":"format-standard","8":"category-career","9":"category-newsletter","10":"post_tag-career","11":"post_tag-influence","12":"post_tag-inspiration","13":"post_tag-relationships"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1319"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1321,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1319\/revisions\/1321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dierschow.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}