The Career You'll Love » relationships

Building up trust

Carl — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:43:19 +0000

I was deeply affected many years ago by a workshop of Stephen R. Covey, when he explained that trust can be thought of as a bank account. Here’s the concept:

You build up trust by your reliable and generous actions, those are the “deposits.”
You lose trust when you make a mistake and damage someone, those are the “withdrawals.” It’s much easier to make a withdrawal than a deposit.
When you damage someone more than you’ve benefited them, you’ve exhausted your bank account. They won’t want to trust you anymore, and it’s extremely hard to dig yourself out of that hole.
Like bank accounts, deep trust is developed over the course of many years. It’s impossible to create deep trust in a short time.

This is a powerful idea, and explains a lot about how people work.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

The career you’ll love newsletter – 26 July 2010

Carl — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:15:29 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my new career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

What exactly is trust?

I think the universe is telling me something today. A couple of days ago I submitted a blog post regarding building trust – that will be published on the Workbloom blog in the next few days.

This morning, I had a chance to hear a presentation by Richard Fagerlin on this subject, which I found quite thought-provoking. Here are some great ideas.

Our paradigm of trust, historically, has been that it’s something you need to spend a lifetime earning from others. To be crass:

You are put in a situation of being tested
You perform some action in response
Someone else judges whether your action was “trustworthy” or not
If it was, then they now award you with this thing called “trust”

That’s fine, certainly, but you might notice something: You’ve given up most of your control. And if, for whatever reason, another doesn’t grace you with this intangible “trust,” then there’s not much you can do except to try to pass the next test.

Instead, let’s think about the aspects of trust which are more about who you are than what you do. The core elements are:

Integrity
Competence
Compassion

To the degree that you have all three of these, then you’ve created the elements which will not only encourage others to trust you, but – more importantly – which will put you into a state of trust with those around you.

Trust isn’t a one-sided judgment. It’s a two-sided relationship. And it’s really just a foundation upon which the activities of the relationship can take place.

Let me describe these three elements, then:

Integrity: Being aware of, driven by, and consistent with a set of values, and displaying that consistency in different situations.

Competence: Being good at what you do - having skills, knowledge, and abilities which are relevant and valued.

Compassion: Being able to connect with others – not only empathy, but also to identify with their values even when they’re different than your own.

When you have these three qualities, you’ll be able to operate from a solid foundation of trusting others, to build the healthy trusting relationships we all strive for.

Just a final word: Don’t assume that trust means only trusting blindly. When I trust another, it means I have a basis upon which to predict their behavior – but that might still not be what I would choose. So healthy trust also depends on communication and validating. Trust but verify.

An important resource

I’ve been reading a great book recently, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, by William Bridges. I found it quite useful for people who are struggling with a sense of travelling through life stages, and the transitions that are required for each. It’ll help you to understand the bigger picture of your life, and quite possibly help your kids, partner, and parents.

It’s an easy read, and extraordinarily powerful.

Carl Dierschow is a Certified Leadership Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with leaders who are creating amazing teams. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.PossibilitiesPartnership.com.

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

Picking the right mentors

Carl — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 00:59:40 +0000

You may have heard the advice that it’s good to have a coach or a mentor. But beyond that, it can be confusing. Why? What should I expect? Who should I approach?

To start with, let me explain the difference between a coaching and mentoring relationship. With a mentor, you’re looking to follow the path that someone else has successfully navigated, perhaps who can even open doors for you. A coach, on the other hand, focuses more on your specific goals, bringing out your best clarity and motivation from within yourself. Sometimes the two roles are combined to various degrees.

If you’re looking for a mentor, the keys are:

You’re looking to follow a path that others have taken successfully.
You have access to some people that can show you the way.

But given that each person’s journey on this planet is somewhat unique, you might argue that no one else has taken your specific path. If that’s really true, then go hook up with a coach who can help you to discover the new territory.

But for many people, there’s aspects of their life which are quite similar to others. Perhaps right now you’re just out of school, attempting to create a new career in the performing arts when times look bleak. Stated that way, there’s plenty of other people who have experienced the same thing, and some of them have succeeded despite the challenges.

Perhaps you’re also struggling to find the right balance between work, family, and spirituality. So look around: Are there any people who have the kind of balance that you’d like to have?

Perhaps you’d like to make a career change, into a new area in which you have less experience. Who has that experience, and has made the kind of jump that you’re looking for?

I’m sure you see, then, that the role of the mentor depends very much on where you are in your life right now. That will change in a few years, so perhaps you’ll be looking for mentoring in a different area then. So seek out someone different at that point.

How do you hook up with a mentor?

Identify the specific area you’re struggling with. At this point, you don’t have to have any idea what the solution might look like.
Look around for people who appear to have solved the problem in a way that you might like to copy. But you don’t have to assume that their solution is exactly right for you; that’s to be discovered.
Ask other friends and people you trust if they have ideas for who might be a good mentor. But stay focused on your area of struggle; being a friend isn’t the primary purpose of being mentored.
Ask a potential mentor for advice within the context of an ongoing relationship. They appreciate being recognized for their expertise, and usually feel indebted to help others who are struggling.
Set up an agreement including how and how often you’d like to meet, the length of the “engagement”, how much you’d like to be challenged and pushed, confidentiality, and what (if anything) you might have to offer in return.
Honor your agreement, and make sure to give your mentor thanks for the value they are giving to you.

Most mentor relationships aren’t paid, although there are some “barter” arrangements where expertise might be traded for expertise. And although you might well end up being a friend of your mentor for life, make sure to bring the formal mentoring relationship to a graceful and appreciative close when you’re feeling less need for the constant advice. It would be terrible for a valuable mentor to feel guilty about not having time to meet with you any more, especially after they’ve been of such great help for you.

Where would you need to be mentored at this point in your career?

Understanding dumb decisions

Carl — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 17:26:18 +0000

One of the most frustrating things about working for other people is figuring out why they do such dumb things. Incomprehensible decisions seem designed to make your life difficult and stop useful progress.

It might be something as large as relocation, reorganization, or laying people off – or as minor as requiring useless codes on your TPS reports.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

The career you’ll love newsletter – 29 June 2010

Carl — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:20:54 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my new career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

It’s not always about getting a return

WIIFM?

I imagine that you’re familiar with this acronym, which stands for “What’s In It For Me.” I first came across it in connection with the idea of asking this question to always keep a view on how my work can deliver tangible benefits to customers, and that I need to be able to describe that in ways which are meaningful to them.

If you think about it, though, this phrase is reflective of our culture. With almost every interaction with others, we tend to look at what we get in return. We’re very individualistic and even self-centered.

When you look at your career decisions, you’re constantly searching for ways to help you achieve your personal career and life goals. That’s fair enough, I suppose, but let me challenge you with this thought: Not everything can be measured by what it gives to you in return.

If you always looked out solely for your own interests, cathedrals would never get built. Those ravaged by natural disasters would never get helped. Most countries would never have been formed.

I’ve been pondering this fact, because for the last week I’ve been at a conference with others who are passionate about the revival of sacred music in our faith. The entire organization is based on volunteer contributions, and people are giving an incredible amount of time, energy and money to a cause which may not reap the biggest benefits during their lifetime.

They do it because it’s important for others, to benefit the human race. WIIFM doesn’t even enter the picture.

If you think about it, you see that it means it’s even more important than things which will yield a return for any individual or even a small group.

We believe that we can’t take any of this with us when we die, so the most important things are those which will be carried on by others over the course of generations. A personal and cultural legacy.

But to be realistic, I do get something in return. The satisfaction of believing that I’ve contributed to making an important difference.

An important resource

I talked before about the importance of LinkedIn. If you’re a professional, I would recommend this above any other online investment of time, because you’ll get connected with people who can give you valuable information, and possibly connect you with future jobs.

But many don’t know that there’s other useful aspects to LinkedIn. You can search for people who you know who work (or worked) at a company you’d like to be hired by. You can contribute to group discussions with others in your profession, thus establishing your expertise and credibility. You can look for others who might need help and mentoring.

Locally, we have an expert who gives LinkedIn seminars in connection with our government workforce center. Look around – there’s a lot of expertise you can tap.

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

“This Problem” or “That Problem”? A Matter of Perspective

Carl — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:13:42 +0000

Let me have you ponder the difference between these two questions:

“Why is this problem important?”
“Why is that problem important?”

It’s a pretty subtle distinction, but potentially quite crucial. Perhaps I’m the boss and you work for me. When we talk about “this problem,” it’s quite close – something that is within our grasp. When we speak of “that problem,” it’s a little more distant, something which is perhaps out of reach. We both might have a little more ownership of “this problem”, but perhaps be more objective about “that problem” because it’s more distant.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

When getting visibility is a good thing

Carl — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 16:02:59 +0000

The word “visibility” has gotten a bit of a bad rap inside organizations. I’ve seen it associated with concepts of playing politics, whitewashing, and generally creating a false image.

If your great work speaks for itself, why worry about making yourself visible?

Read the rest on my Workbloom blog»

How to build a personal brand inside a company

Carl — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 03:29:19 +0000

There’s been a lot of talk in recent years about the importance of creating a personal brand. I first came across the idea in an article by Tom Peters in Fast Company Magazine in 1997, but he didn’t originate it.

Here’s the concept: Any powerful brand (Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, iPhone, Facebook) stands for much more than the products that it names. McDonald’s stands for more than just a certain kind of food, it’s also about kid-friendliness, reliability, cleanliness, and value. These attributes are incredibly consistent over the long term, and drive much more visibility and loyalty than just the food they sell.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

The most important stakeholder: Yourself

Carl — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 15:42:33 +0000

Here’s the bonus category: Yourself. We’ve spent so much time thinking about other people, we might have forgotten that it’s important how we feel about our own work!

Looking at it this way, you realize that you are independent of your work. So how does the work help you to achieve your life and career goals? How would you LIKE to relate to your work?

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

Key stakeholders: Understand your partners

Carl — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 20:34:40 +0000

I’ve broken out partners as a distinct category of stakeholders, because the relationships are much different than the others in our diagram.

The simple definition of “partner” is someone who works with you to deliver value to their customers and your customers, and to their management and your management. In the case of your teammates, the customers and management might be the same. In fact, that makes decisions much easier, because you hopefully have an environment that’s aligned and supports you working together.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»