The Career You'll Love » fear

A little experiment

Carl — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 16:25:23 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

A little experiment

Two weeks ago, I offered each of you a challenge:

I have a request for each of you receiving this newsletter today: Please tell me one thing that gives you inspiration. I’ll pull those together and share them with the rest of the group in the next newsletter two weeks from now.

What a wonderful response! Within a couple of days, I had a number of powerful testimonies in my inbox. Here’s the first:

Thanks for all your emails which I love reading and which inspire me. Sorry if that sounds silly, but yes, you do inspire me. I suppose the other thing that regularly inspires me is learning how to do something new, or learning how something works.

Starting out my career, I was all about figuring things out. You might not know this, but I now have a business objective to be constantly learning and growing. I run my own business, so I get to do strange things like that!

The second and third popped in a little later:

I get inspiration from knowing that the work I do brings value to my organization, our clients and to me personally.

and

Having someone recognize my contributions inspires me!

How fantastic is that? I love it when people figure out that the value of their work is measured by how it helps others. But let’s not forget that each of us has an inherent worth as well, something that can’t be measured by what you DO – just by who you ARE.

The next message came from a person who has had a lot of personal turmoil – huge, life-challenging issues. Yet her faith and philosophy gives her strength: “There are lots of things to be grateful for in the past and the present.” She offers some valuable advice for all of us:

At the end of the day we all have a limited period of time on the planet, let’s get on and use our lives effectively. That includes the job we do. Let’s not waste precious time. You may be familiar with the quote from St Paul about throwing off everything that slows you down and running the race you have been given – well that’s where I am now and I’m also thinking about the crowd of witnesses who watch from the stands and cheer us on. Let’s get running!!

This has meant a great deal to me, and I offer it as powerful advice for all of us.

Finally, I got a Facebook post from my daughter:

You inspire me, Dad, by how hard you work and everything you do.

That just blows me away – it’s hard to find the words.

Now, why did I do this? Honestly, part of it was a need to get some feedback from the readers of this newsletter, to get a sense of whether people are getting value from this after 18 months.

But more important, this shows us the value of giving something a try. I’ve often used the word “experiment” for this, because it gives you the freedom to accept the outcome. Whether it fails, succeeds, or goes off in some unexpected direction, you’re always learning and growing.

Thank you all, for helping me with this little experiment!

Carl Dierschow is a Certified Small Fish Business Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with small business owners who need to create breakthroughs in achieving their business goals. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.SmallFish.us.

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

Mentally disconnected!

Carl — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 02:14:18 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

Mentally disconnected

Right now, I’m seeing a big gap in the employment marketplace – but probably not what you think. I’m seeing a rapidly growing number of advertised jobs (in October? Go figure!) with a huge number of people still out of work.

Here’s the actual gap: Many, many people aren’t actually looking for work – at least not as diligently as they once were.

It’s a lack of inspiration. After you’ve been bashing your head against this problem for so long, you just get worn out.

But it’s not just those out of work. If you have a job right now, or are creating you own business, count yourself lucky. But are you inspired? Are you bringing your best to your work?

This became clear to me today, because I had a couple of different discussions where we talked about that loss of momentum. And I see it in the larger society as well – people increasingly disconnected from government action, moving away from organizations and companies.

I’m not going to fix all of society, at least not this week. Instead, I’ll work on myself and the people I’m close with. Let’s see what we can do about our own personal inspiration and engagement.

Are you up for the challenge?

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

Facing the scary truth

Carl — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 21:20:44 +0000

This is the time of year that we celebrate the mysterious and spooky. But that’s different than what is truly scary.

What would happen if you got in an accident and were in the hospital for six months?

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

Don’t beat yourself up

Carl — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 02:16:44 +0000

Man, I sure blew that. I had that discussion with my boss, and it sure feels like I gave her a bad impression. Now she’ll think I’m an idiot.

OK, time to calm down a bit.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

Pick the right battles

Carl — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 02:39:07 +0000

Your spouse just called and told you that the weekend is now all booked up. You were hoping to have the chance to get some fun stuff done around the house, and now your hopes have been dashed. And you’re going to have to disappoint your friend you were going to meet up with.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

Making the commitment

Carl — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:38:15 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

Making the commitment

I was speaking with a friend recently who is wanting to build a group around a particular topic of interest. It’s been difficult to get it launched, to get a wide range of people excited to join him.

His goal is to get this group running by the end of October. To himself, he’s been thinking about it as “I want to have this group running by the end of the month.” To others who might be candidates to join the group, it’s been a bit like “I would like you to join this new group, I want to have our first meeting by the end of the month.”

That might be one of the problems with getting people to join.

I asked him what would be different if he went ahead and scheduled the date and time, and reserved the meeting venue. What he ends up with is a MUCH more powerful and compelling message.

For himself, the goal now shifts to “I’m having the meeting on that specific day. I’d better make sure we have enough people and that it’s a great first meeting!”

For others, the message is now “This group is meeting on that specific day. You don’t want to miss the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a fantastic opportunity, so you’d better let me know by the end of this week if you want me to reserve your place!”

You can see that he’s now moved from INTENTION to ACTION, from HOPING to DOING. Likewise, his contacts will sense that:

Yes, this is real – it has a time, date, and venue
There’s a firm deadline for me to take action
There’s more energy behind what’s being offered, because there’s a concrete plan

Of course, putting this stake in the ground is a bit scary. What happens if he sets the meeting but nobody shows up? Will this crush his spirit?

But he’s searching for people who want to take action, who want to get compelling value from working together. When they sense his commitment is not complete, they’re going to be reluctant to jump on board.

Where does this apply in your life and career? What would happen if you just gathered your courage, and moved something important from being an INTENTION to being in ACTION?

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

Why you should launch out on your own

Carl — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 02:11:26 +0000

Oh, the glory! Start your own company and achieve great fame and fortune!

OK, maybe not. Run your own business and destroy your life savings.

How do you decide?

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

Dealing with the fears

Carl — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 19:51:20 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

Dealing with the fears

Making career decisions is scary! You’re dealing with life-changing decisions, impacts on your family, people who can affect your life direction in deep ways, ….

Calm down for a moment.

It’s OK to be stressed, that’s understandable. But there’s different ways of handling stress. Many people start by moving into a position of fear – the animal fight or flight response.

Think of fears as the compilation of your life’s learning. When we were cavemen, we had good reason to be fearful when we heard growling in a cave. You could end up as that bear’s lunch, so running away was the best option. Over time all animals, ourselves included, have developed the ability to sense dangerous situations and respond quickly. That’s fear.

Something strange has happened, though. Researchers have established that socially uncomfortable situations create the same physical responses as when people are physically in danger.

That means that your response to being embarrassed in grade school is very similar to that fear of the bear in the cave.

I find this very strange, but it’s true.

It also means that your imagined fears can be much larger than the actual reality. Let’s say that I’m thinking of giving up a well-paying career as a doctor to take up social work. That’s a huge change, so a wide array of doubts will start popping up:

I won’t have the income and lifestyle that I’ve become accustomed to.
People will think I’m crazy.
I won’t know what I’m doing, at least initially.

These are the logical thoughts, but they quickly spawn some emotional reactions:

My family won’t love me anymore, they’ll leave me and I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.
People will ostracize and shun me, I’ll be embarrassed and ridiculed.
I won’t have the skills to make it in this new career, I’ll be a failure and never make a living doing anything.

You can see that I’ve deliberately overstated each of these to make a point. But our fears really do go this deep, and can be even more irrational than what I’ve stated here. Here’s an example:

If I do this, people will think I’m crazy.
Then what? They’ll laugh at me.
Then what? They won’t take me seriously.
Then what? I won’t have any friends.
Then what? I’ll die an old and bitter man.

See how this goes downhill quickly? But it’s what’s going on at the emotional level.

How do we deal with this?

First, recognize what’s going on: Your emotions are magnifying things out of proportion, because people are resistant to change.

Second, develop counterbalancing alternative scenarios:

If I do this, people will think I’m courageous.
Then what? They’ll be impressed by my decision to focus on something I love.
Then what? They may be inspired to go for great goals.
Then what? They may want to help and support me.
Then what? I’ll have lots of interesting friends.

If I do this, people will be surprised.
Then what? They’ll be interested in what I’m doing.
Then what? They will want to help me succeed.
Then what? I’ll be known for starting something much bigger than myself.
Then what? I’ll be famous and travel the world.

Now that you have some comparison points, you can start thinking through which are more likely. And it may well impact how you make your choices: In this case, maybe I’ll want to work hard on gathering supporters around me and inspiring people.

The others who still think I’m crazy? Well, when I have supporters, who cares?

Just a note: This is surprisingly similar to the situation I’ve experienced over the last decade. Yes, a lot of people have pointed out how difficult it is to succeed as a coach. But in trade, I’m doing something important and I have a lot of people supporting me. And my business is zooming forward!

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

What fear is in your way?

Carl — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:29:19 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

What fear is in your way?

You’ve been wanting to advance your career, but it seems that you’re sabotaging yourself at every turn. You were going to have that important discussion with your boss, and then wimped out. “Too busy,” you told yourself, or “not a convenient time.”

We all struggle with this.

Coaches have a concept called your “gremlin” – it’s the voice inside your head that’s constantly telling yourself you’re not good enough, you don’t have what it takes, and you’ll never succeed. The gremlin can be positively brutal, because he speaks in words that push all your buttons and activate all your insecurities.

I’ve expanded this concept and built on the image of a devil on one shoulder, an angel on the other. Your gremlin and the devil character are basically the same thing. But I believe there’s also a quieter, gentler voice of “your angel” that wants you to succeed. When you’re able to give energy to this angel, you can counteract the damage done by the devil on the other shoulder.

Imagine that I’m trying to work up the courage to talk to a partner about the fact that his work is causing problems for me. The devil’s on one shoulder telling me that I’m going to make him mad by opening up this conversation, and might even advise me to approach the topic in an abrasive way. After all, I’m frustrated, right? It’s his fault, so I should certainly let him know my views in an emphatic way!

But before I make any decision, I’m going to give voice to the angel on my other shoulder. She’s kind, thoughtful, and open to compromise – the opposite of that devil. She’s going to encourage me to create a discussion which allows for us to seek a common solution, and maintain the strength of our relationship.

It’s a tremendously simple concept, but powerful for helping you think through difficult issues. It helps to overcome your fear of failure, because you’ve thought things through carefully.

Why was my angel female? I’m not sure, but it’s not always that way. My angel is the opposite of whatever demons are around me at the time – so if my devil is telling me to wimp out, maybe the angel will adopt an attitude of strength and courage.

When’s the next time you’d like your angel to show up?

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com

Choice

Carl — Mon, 02 May 2011 17:53:48 +0000

The Career You’ll Love

Sponsored by Carl Dierschow’s career blog at www.Dierschow.com

Welcome to my career tips newsletter! I encourage you to pass this to anyone who might have an interest in revitalizing their career – instructions for subscribing are at the bottom.

Choice

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

~William Jennings Bryan

I came across this great quote from a US Statesman in the early part of the 20th century. It really got me thinking about how I struggle with expectations and obligations, and the choices that I make.

Jobs are great, but feeling a lot less secure than they used to. Society is changing – quickly – and nobody really knows what the right path is. That means that “security” is often just a temporary situation, and depends as much on luck as on your own behavior.

A job is just an exchange: You agree to change your behavior for a certain number of hours a week, in exchange for money in the short term and some kind of expectation of longer term security. That longer term might be a month, a year, or a decade, depending on your employer and the industry. But we’ve all come to recognize that images of long term security are often based more on wishes than anything absolute.

But that’s the way it’s always been, if you think about it. Fifty years ago, people might be able to stay with a single employer for an entire career, but that “security” was based on advances in technology, the whims of the market, the decisions of politicians, even the possibility of natural disasters.

What’s different now is that these things are changing at a much more rapid rate than before. Which means that NObody is able to make true long term commitments about your job.

What it comes down to, then, is making choices in your life. That’s what you DO control, but often leave up to other people.

Here’s a simple example: “I HAVE to go to work today!” Well, no, actually that’s not an absolute. It’s a choice. Which has impacts, of course, but let’s think about this. On the positive side, going to work will please some people, it will bring you some pay, and increase the likelihood of pay and “security” in the future. On the negative side, it takes you away from your family, and takes your time and energy away from other things you might be doing. Like taking steps toward your future career. Or helping people in need.

The reason for doing this exercise is to realize that even such a fundamental action is still a choice, one which you should make consciously. Not that every morning you’d get up and ponder your role in the universe – that’s a bit esoteric – but there’s a time and a place for questioning how you’re using your time, energy, and money.

William Jennings Bryan liked to frame this as working toward your Destiny, but perhaps you relate more to other ideas such as career and life goals. The quote is just as true: You’re not going to make significant progress in ANY direction of your choosing until you make some choices.

Some choices might be tough, but nobody said life was going to be easy.

If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

Connect with Carl on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn to get timely updates and connections to a broader range of professionals.

To subscribe or unsubscribe to this newsletter, send an e-mail to newsletter@Dierschow.com