Let’s say that someone asks me to do something quite simple, perhaps to answer a question that will take me 30 seconds. But because I’m focusing on the Big Important Task, I’m going to let that slide until I have time – maybe next week.

Read more on my Workbloom blog»

How much time and energy do I spend worrying about the future? I might lose my job. That next appointment with the doctor might not go well. We don’t know how the new US Health Care law will impact us personally.

Read the rest of this on my Workbloom blog»

Here’s an example. Joseph is struggling because he’s not happy with his job: the work isn’t interesting, his boss is a jerk, and the organization is overly political. The solution, clearly, is to find a new job which fixes these three problems.

Read more of my post on the WorkBloom bl0g>>

Here’s a core principle of human behavior, so simple:  When people receive something they value, they’re more inclined to give back in return.  Pretty obvious, right?  But it’s absolutely true, and is one of the reasons why those charities send you small gifts in the mail.  They’re hoping you’ll find some value in them, and give back in return.

But suppose you’re the one trying to sell something:  You have a great idea, you want a job, or you want to have influence over other people.  You can use the above principle in several ways:

People need to know what you have to offer.  A great way to do this is to show it in action, not just tell people about it.  Do you know how to do something interesting or valuable?  Show them.  Do you have a product you’re trying to sell?  Show it doing something useful and interesting.  Trying to sell an idea?  Show a mock-up, an analogy, or how the idea has already worked in other situations.

People need a reason to prefer you over the competition.  You’ll be thought of as more valuable if you’ve already demonstrated an inclination to give value.  Are you after a particular job?  Look for ways to help the employer solve real problems, whether by volunteering or even what value you give during the interview.

Let’s say you’re trying to have influence over a decision.  If you have demonstrated an ability to understand the bigger picture – that of the decision-maker – you’ll have more credibility.  If people in power have seen you exercise skill and expertise, they’ll be more likely to listen to what you have to say.

Here’s the bottom line:  Don’t be stingy with your skill, knowledge, time, and resources.  When people see you giving freely, they’ll be inclined to help you in return.

But remember:  What you give has to have value in the recipient’s eyes.  Otherwise, it’s just a useless trinket.

It’s scary, but it’s so wonderful to be doing what feels to be such useful activity.

It’s interesting how this switch happened inside my head.  Before Christmas, I had all kinds of great excuses for not making the leap:

• “I’m still investing in my professional development.”
• “My plans aren’t clear yet.”
• “People are going to be off on vacation.”

All true, of course, but I knew that the fundamental issue was that they were stalling techniques to give myself an “out” for not moving to action.

What changed since New Year’s is that I decided to announce to my supporters and coaches (so wonderful to be able to call upon several!) that I wanted to work on switching from planning into action.  After each conversation, I came away with some concrete actions to take - that I was motivated to work on.  That last part is key, because it’s what helps me to get over my fears and inertia.

This is part of the magic of coaching – that the client creates and owns the action items, it’s not about the coach giving the client things to do.  Therefore, the client is motivated to follow through, and the coach can help close the loop of accountability and celebration.

I might also mention that I had my first evaluation as a coach this week – an expert listened in while I coached a colleague for half an hour, then gave a verbal and written evaluation of what I had done.

Boy, that was scary.

But in the end, my fears were much larger than the reality.  I got some wonderful and supportive feedback, and had the chance to really jump in and coach at my absolute best.  I’m much less scared about the second evaluation in a couple of weeks.

Are you scared to jump in and actually do what you know you need to do?  Have courage, my friend!

Now it’s time to look forward:

• Where would you like to be a year from now?  Five years from now?
• What are your goals for your professional life, your family life, and your personal growth?
• Who can help you on this next step of your life journey?
• What other resources do you have available to help you?

Logically, we all know that there’s nothing really special about January 1st – this kind of introspection would be great to experience any time we have the opportunity.  But this day is a certain emotional event in our year, and for that reason is a good time to sit back and think about the big picture.

I’m not particularly a fan of new year’s resolutions, especially because our culture has become so cynical about them.  We focus on our failure to keep resolutions.

I’d rather focus on successes, on inspirations, on possibilities.

So let’s spend this period thinking about what magnificent possibilities are available for 2010, and beyond.  Here’s to looking forward!

Ten years I was employed in Hewlett-Packard, just beginning to discover this new emerging field called coaching.  I was managing a team that was embroiled in the whole Y2K issue, worried that all our hard preparation might not have been enough to ward off customer problems on January 1st.  As it turns out, things went remarkably well.

On New Year’s Eve 1999, we were captivated by all the celebrations taking place around the world.  We had CNN on TV nonstop for the entire day, and every hour was a new joy.  In the midst of industry growth and optimism – before the “high tech bubble” popped – all we had to look forward to was opportunity and excitement.

The industry downturn, and then 9/11/2001, changed our lives deeply: materially, mentally, spiritually.  We have a much different view of the world and our government now.  Other, more personal, events have become a part of my life and have sent me off on new journeys of discovery.

But it’s unbelievable to me that this decade has disappeared like a flash.  I still clearly recall the experience of “partying like it’s 1999.”  Is the next decade going to go even faster?

What’s the best that could happen?

Here’s the deal:  When you have to look for the upside, then it becomes more real.  Those scary scenarios start to take a back seat to the more positive energy that flows from this kind of question.

Let’s say that I’m trying to engage with a potential business partner.  Normally my fears start creeping in:

• What if I lose some control?
• What if the partner doesn’t like me?
• What if I invest a whole lot of effort and it doesn’t work out?

Perhaps you recognize this voice too.  This gremlin is sometimes screaming during these times of economic uncertainty.

So I ask myself the question:  What’s the best that could happen?

• I could get more business than I had possibly dreamed of.
• I might find that this partner really is awesome and energizing to work with.
• This could create wonderful surprises and opportunities that I’d never even thought of.

At this point, there’s a danger that I might become over-optimistic, so now I temper it with a deeper grounding:

• Connect with my core principles
• Trust in myself and my capabilities
• Realize that there are always risks in life, but many are worth taking

Now I’m feeling more comfortable to move ahead with conviction and energy.

Here’s the trick:  You promote in a way which is well-founded, or where promotion isn’t the primary message.

Here are a few examples:

• Share the recognition.  The message is a lot softer when a group of us achieved something, as opposed to just my own personal accomplishments.  And it can be more powerful as well, because typically a group can achieve more than just an individual.
• Provide objective evidence.  The fact that I’ve published a book or delivered 433 hours of coaching is more powerful than just claiming that I generally have lots of experience.  In addition, the book is almost always a great conversation starter: people want to know about my writing and publishing experience.
• Relate it to a future goal.  I may not be the world’s best expert yet, but it’s very interesting to tell people about the business I’m building.  It’s not uncommon to find people who want to help me, then find that I already have considerable expertise to offer.
• Demonstrate expertise in a helpful way.  I often sell my coaching services merely by having coaching conversations with people, or as part of a presentation I might give.  When people like the way I come across, they see that I can bring them value in a paid coaching engagement.

More than anything, keep the conversation open, honest, and useful to your audience.  Let that work to build up the impression that you have expertise and experience.

• Core principles: Trust the client, partnership, possibility, accept/blend/create, and presence
• Emotional intelligence
• Articulating core values
• Core skills: listening, questioning, reflecting, and supporting

As I described before, the teaching method used by The Forton Group is to use the coaching methodology itself, and an extensive amount of demonstration and practice.  I find this to result in a much deeper learning and internalization.

And in addition, I received hours worth of personalized coaching while we practiced these new skills during the class.

So that was the last three days.  Monday and Tuesday, I had the opportunity to re-take the Foundations class.  It was a remarkable experience, as I reviewed, practiced, and learned even more depth in this whole coaching methodology.  It was even more valuable than I had hoped.

My focus this week was to move forward with my fledgling company, in the areas of clarifying my marketing strategy and partnerships.  I made a lot of progress and developed some key connections, so I’ll now be getting that organized and communicated.  It’s an exciting time.

So now I’m blessed with a couple of days free in London.  Last Sunday I attended a beautiful Mass at St Etheldra’s Church, and I’ve been told by several people that Brompton Oratory may be a great choice this weekend.  To be investigated!

But now to bed, I’m whipped after an intense week.