The Career You'll Love » Career Coaching

Disappointment

Carl — Mon, 07 May 2012 17:20:45 +0000

I had a couple of big disappointments in the last week. I guess it’s a natural part of my kind of business, but still, it gets me down.

In a way, today’s rainy weather reflects and reinforces my internal mood.

But here’s the thing: That rain is so welcome, because it’s finally going to kick off the spring growth! And it’s a welcome break from the unseasonable heat and dryness we’ve been having for many weeks.

I try to look at disappointments in my business in a similar light. First, any failure is always an opportunity to learn and grow. And, in fact, I AM learning from these experiences. Every interaction I have with someone, no matter the outcome, is a chance for me to learn what works and what doesn’t.

Second, these “failures” are laying a basis for future success. In the same way that rain nourishes the soil, a proposal which results in a NO is still advancing the relationship. It’s not uncommon for me to give a proposal to someone, then have me contact me months later for another discussion which is more likely to result in success.

And I have to remember my long term goal: To build a thriving coaching business which makes deep and lasting improvements for my clients.

When that happens, and it does, it makes all the struggles worthwhile.

Carl Dierschow is a Certified Small Fish Business Coach and author of the career management guide, Mondays Stink! 23 Secrets to Rediscover Delight and Fulfillment in Your Work. He is a career coach for those going through interesting transitions, and works with small business owners who need to create breakthroughs in achieving their business goals. Find out more at www.Dierschow.com and www.SmallFish.us.If you are interested in individual career coaching, group coaching, or other resources which might help you with difficult choices, please contact Carl at carl@dierschow.com.

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You should increase your prices!

Carl — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 19:24:40 +0000

In a moment of weakness, I was drawn into an article which proposed that coaches should raise their rates. I thought that the author might have some challenging reason for why coaches’ rates are out of sync with the perceived value.

Alas, the reasoning behind this was:

You should believe you’re worth it!!!!!!

Yeah, I was disappointed.

Sorry, folks, you can believe in yourself all day, but when it comes to getting paid, it’s the perception of your customers that matters. It doesn’t matter whether you’re selling products to people, or pulling down a salary, or even asking for handouts on the street.

The fact is that if you’re going to be rewarded with more money, THEY need to believe that it’s worth it.

Now, it is true that believing in yourself is useful, because that helps you deliver more value, to communicate that value more confidently, and to ask to be compensated fairly for it.

But, sadly, I put this in the same camp as The Attraction Principle, which some to be simply that “if you believe hard enough, the universe will give you whatever you want.”

Sadly, it doesn’t seem that I live in that universe. It would appear that people mostly get rewarded for doing useful things, with great latitude regarding what “useful” might mean.

But maybe I’m too much of a realist.

Visibility for your expertise

Carl — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 15:15:17 +0000

I had a wonderful opportunity last week to deliver a presentation to a bunch of software company CxOs who were gathered for a conference in Denver. It generated a whole lot of excitement and good interest in my coaching services.

The primary value was to show a lot of people in different companies what kind of expertise I have. The same concept can be applied to others as well.

There’s a good chance that you won’t be working for your current employer for the rest of your life, so it’s wise to start building visibility for what you can do. Sorry, a résumé or CV isn’t nearly as powerful as getting out there and showing people.

Of course, giving a presentation ALSO looks good on your CV, because people will expect that you’re more expert in your field when you’re able to go outside your current company.

I understand that a lot of people are terrified at the idea of giving presentations. So even though it can be quite powerful, perhaps it’s not quite within your grasp yet. Look into other opportunities:

Writing an article for an industry journal
Becoming a member of a small cross-company mastermind group
Mentoring others
Writing a book
Leading a discussion group at your church or kids’ school

It’s really only limited by your imagination.

I’m going to be presenting for an Entrepreneurship class at the local University – just an hour talking about my experience in setting up businesses, successful or not, and leading a discussion with the students. It’s a chance to contribute to the community and build my presence in general. Is it likely to bring in coaching clients for me? Not especially – although it certainly can’t hurt.

You have expertise that most others don’t. How can you start showing others outside your current employer how useful that might be?

P.S. If you’re interested in my presentation I gave last week on employee retention in the software industry, go check out my other blog.

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The right amount of worry

Carl — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:44:19 +0000

War! Famine! Insane politics! The world’s falling apart!Yes, I have days like this too. It’s just amazing how many things there are to worry about these days. And the news is so instantaneous, so global, that any problem anywhere can instantly contribute to my stress level.What do people do? Turn off the news, retreat into Facebook and mindless entertainment.

What would be better? To have a general awareness of the world to provide context, but to focus 98% on the things you can actually affect: your family, your community, perhaps one or two larger causes which connect with your core purpose.

The ideal is to spend your worry on things you can help improve.

For example, my list of passions at the moment are:

My family, including my daughter’s wedding and my son’s career launch
My spiritual life, including devotion to learning and promoting sacred music
My business success, including learning, establishing credibility, getting clients, and delivering awesome coaching
Contributing to the success of small business in the community
Helping the disadvantaged and needy

I was pondering whether to include anything about the American political system in that, but honestly, I won’t start thinking much about my vote until much closer to the election. Until then, I maintain a bit of awareness of progress on key issues, but I don’t worry much because there’s not much I can do.

OK, I could do something, but I choose to spend my energies elsewhere. I’m just fine with that tradeoff.

These five things tie back very closely to my core beliefs and goals right now, which is what makes them so powerful. If there’s something that needs my energy to worry about, it also warrants spending some energy to help fix it.

How are your worries aligned with your beliefs and goals? Are you worrying about things you have no intent to try to improve?

Are you serious?

Carl — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:27:55 +0000

I’ve noticed something in the last couple of weeks that I find quite striking.I’m running into a lot of people – a LOT – who have started up their own business ventures. A lot of people have lost their jobs, and a number just got fed up and decided to strike out on their own. As a result, there’s a wide range of one-person businesses that have cropped up in the last year or two.

Perhaps it’s always been this vibrant – I’m not sure. The point is that I’m seeing a lot of them because I’m out there networking, promoting my own business.

In a matter of just a few minutes’ conversation, I tend to classify each person as serious about their business, or not so much.

I’m not talking about whether they’re GOOD at their business – we all make plenty of mistakes when we first start out. I’m noticing whether they’re DEDICATED to their venture.

Serious	Not Serious
Is making the outcome happen Is working at it full time Makes decisions Speeds up Self-energizes “I am doing, we are doing” Obstacles are a way to learn Sees positive signs, hopeful	Is wishing the outcome will happen Is working on it as convenient Waits for decisions Slows down Gets discouraged “They are (or aren’t) doing” Obstacles are a reason to stop Sees negative signs

There’s a particular franchise that’s become quite popular of late, and I’ve run across a bunch of people who have signed up as one-person franchisees. When I talk to the 10% who are serious, they:

Know their products very well
Are actively seeking customers every day who would like to work with them
Know exactly how their business is doing
Envision a future with the company, and are doing things to build it

The other 90% are less serious, it’s clear that they’re just dabbling and hoping for some income until a “real job” comes along. But they’re sabotaging their business success: Nobody but their current family and friends is ever going to become a customer.

Yes, I think the ratio is roughly 90/10. I’ve seen this pattern enough times now, and have tested my theory with others.

Why do you suppose that the most successful franchises have such high fees? A compelling reason is to weed out the 90%, so the 10% who are serious can join and build a robust business. And the 90% aren’t out there damaging the quality of the brand.

Perhaps you’re not out there starting up your next career. But the same logic applies to the rest of your life as well. Certainly you should dedicate your energies to having your best possible life – if you don’t, what’s the point?

Nobody else is going to be as impassioned about your life as you are. Stop waiting for them.

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Nurturing optimism

Carl — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:57:56 +0000

I’d like to be optimistic, but it’s not that easy. The economy’s terrible, the election’s coming up this year, people are still losing their houses, …

Here’s how I do it.

You may have some friends or colleagues who are “toxic people.” You know the type: For every positive sign, they can recite five negative ones. They relish in the opportunity to point out the black cloud behind the silver lining.

And, let’s face it, there’s a certain amount of perverse pleasure in complaining. It’s easy, and doesn’t carry the risk that you might actually have to DO something.

But the end result, over time, is that you take on the attitude of a slave. Other people have the opportunity and right to do things, and all you can do is to respond. You’ve lost all your freedom.

That’s no way to spend your life.

So the first challenge is to limit the amount of time you spend with these toxic “friends.” If three minutes a day is all you can take, then listen for that time, don’t participate much, and walk away. Maybe they’ll learn and adjust over time, but it’s not your job to try to “fix” other people.

Do the same with the media you consume. I had a podcast that I listened to faithfully for several years, and really enjoyed. But it was all about complaining and pointing out faults, not about coming up with useful solutions. I started noticing that after listening, I would become cynical for the rest of the day.

Because I don’t want to be that kind of person, I had to give up the podcasts. Guess what? I’m more positive now.

The third thing I do is to actively look for – and celebrate – positive signs. Last week my son had two high-value interviews, after having none for a year. Let’s consider that as a sign that his industry is turning up, and that he’s shifting his focus to get a little more serious about the job search. A year’s worth of new experience has helped as well!

I’ve been getting a sense that there’s more optimism here in January 2012 than there was in January 2011. Measurable? Not really. But I’ve been doing my part to tell people that this has helped me to be more upbeat, in the hopes that I can spread it around a little more. It seems to be working, little by little.

A couple of months ago, on one of my blogs, I mentioned my little experiment with changing the standard hallway exchange: “How’s it going?” “Fine.” This actually means nothing in our culture, other than acknowledging the other person’s existence. It certainly doesn’t mean that I’m “fine”, it’s just the standard response.

I changed my response to things like “wonderful!” or “excellent!” in order to see how people would react. And they noticed, yes, but more important, it changed my outlook on the day. I found that by telling someone I was having a wonderful time, that it actually increased the chances that the day would indeed be wonderful. Because I was working to make it that way.

And don’t we all want wonderful days?

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Too much planning?

Carl — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:16:55 +0000

I tend to put a lot of trust into planning. It gives me comfort that I’ve prepared for contingencies, that I know how things are going to happen, that I’ve avoided risks.But … I’ve also learned that there’s such a thing as too much planning.

The first problem is that planning can be a way to avoid doing. I’m in the little cocoon of my plans – nothing can go wrong at this point. So the more time I spend in creating and refining plans, there’s no risk. Unfortunately, delaying is usually the risk I’m taking – but that’s not apparent.

The second problem is that not everything can be planned. Especially when you’re doing something new, something creative: Any plans are based on a poor understanding. A house of cards.

The third problem is that planning can take away the joy of experience and surprise. The best vacations I’ve had were where we had entire days which were unplanned, and therefore could be spent on … anything! If we want to go sit on the beach for an afternoon, that’s just fine, because there’s no plans. Want to eat dinner at 10:00? No problem.

Of course, I’m not comfortable with jumping past the planning stages in much of my work. The challenge is to find the right balance.

The most powerful example came when I joined up with Small Fish at the end of 2010. We were warned that there would be a certain comfort in creating lists, in planning activities, and in writing blog posts. But because our task was to get out there and sell our services, there was nothing to compare with getting out there and having actual conversations with potential clients.

And it’s made a world of difference: I now have clients.

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Time for a reboot?

Carl — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:37:00 +0000

It’s the end of the year. I’m not a big fan of new year’s resolutions, really – I don’t see much reason to make up arbitrary goals with the realization that they won’t even last a month.But…

There is a reason to use this time to think about your larger goals. First, for many, this is a bit of a slow time – perhaps you’re even taking some vacation. You can take some time to reflect about the course of your career, how you’re dealing with the normal stresses and strains of your job.

Second, typically at this time of year, you’ll be spending some time with family. Perhaps you’ll be exploring your spirituality a little deeper than normal. So it’s a time where you might be a bit more balanced, recognizing that it might be more important to spend time with your kids than to work another three hours on that report.

The challenge – one that I deal with as well – is how to do this without getting depressed. When you realize that you haven’t spent enough time with your family, that your career hasn’t advanced much this year, it can be a bit of a downer.

So counterbalance that with your achievements and bright spots. You had that great vacation with the family last summer. You’ve put some new accomplishments on your résumé or CV. Heck, even being gainfully employed for another year can be noteworthy these days. Or, if you’ve gone through some turmoil, at least you’ve survived and have a working computer to read this on.

My wife gives me a hard time because I always seem to respond to any of her computer hassles with, “Did you reboot?” It seems that with Windows PCs, this is the universal answer that magically fixes 90% of the problems.

Your job, of course, isn’t that simple. A complete “reboot” would mean going back to school, restarting as a newbie, being at the bottom of the ladder.

But we can use this time to “reboot” energy. Here’s some good questions:

What is it that gives you energy?
Why did you get into this career originally?
What makes your work worthwhile – to other people AND to you?

Use some slow-time here at the end of the year to see if you can recapture the energy and inspiration that you used to have. It may just help you enter 2012 with a bit of freshness.

Is it politically incorrect to wish you a Merry Christmas? Well, there it is anyway. Each of us is free to celebrate our spiritual rebirth however we wish, and that’s mine.

Talk to you in January!

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The Best Ways to Become Independent

Carl — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 00:37:06 +0000

This time of year, we in the US are celebrating our independence. It’s a big deal, and has become a core part of our national psyche.

In our personal lives, a few of us strive to be truly independent. But most of us really just want to be able to CHOOSE when and where to be dependent on others, to develop the give-and-take of trusting relationships that help us to advance toward our goals and dreams.

Avoid these mistakes and save your career

Carl — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 22:41:08 +0000

We’ve all seen people who are doing a great job of making sure that their career is headed nowhere. In the spirit of helpfulness, I thought I’d gather some of the most powerful ideas together.

Want to lose your job and torpedo your career?